Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Begin.

This is it, here we go.

I'm doing this again. Embarking on a journey. Starting down a path. Getting f**king sick and tired of my facebook photos.

In January 2010, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and put on a C-PAP machine. That was my lowest point emotionally - and my highest weight, at 240. I was SO scared of that future. So, I joined Jenny Craig and by July, I had lost 40 pounds. By October, I was down to 185. Over the next few months, I tried so hard to get below 180, but I couldn't do it. And in 2011, I went off the plan, stopped working out, and totally screwed up.

Since then, I've been pretending it's not as bad as it is. But two weeks ago, I weighed myself and I was back to 220. TWO TWENTY. I can't do this anymore: untagging myself from every picture on facebook, hating everything I put on in the mornings, worrying that everytime I eat pancakes, someone is thinking" God, look at the fat girl put those away!"

I've said it before, but I'm saying it again. I'm done. This is not an easy road. I've been in therapy, I know where my dragons lie. But I want to live my life! I want to fall in love again, and have babies, and go zip lining. I want to never say no to something again because I'm worried how I'll look doing it.

So, this is day one of week two. I lost 1 pound in week one. Which is about 2 pounds less than I hoped for. But, I also tracked less than 2 hours of activity. So, like the picture says...

No comments:

Post a Comment